This Was Supposed to Be a Journal

2026-06-07T00:00:00Z

So one day you’re watching the movie Julie & Julia, and then ADHD takes over.

You think: I could write a blog.

Then comes the Googling.

Nope, don’t like that.

That looks more like a newsletter-style Reddit.

Next.

This is a little overkill for what I need.

Then the brain goes: How about we build a platform for people to use?

Then sense-checking kicks in.

Far too big for your small blog that you’ll probably stop using in the next seven days because life gets in the way.

I’ve spent years in and out of therapy, and somehow they all come down to this one thing:

Have you tried journalling?

Nope.

So here we are, sharing notes verbatim from my overstimulated ADHD brain in the hope that no one actually finds it or reads it.

But I’ve just bought a domain and set up hosting.

So clearly, I’m already invested in the new hobby dopamine chase.

A little about me and where we’ve gotten to.

I’m Jordan. I’m 32 years old, a father to a seven-year-old, separated, and living with my two dogs: Millie, a nine-month-old Border Collie, and Monty, a rescue dog who turns four in August.

Let’s paint a picture.

My ex-wife had an affair with her “best” friend, who was married with two children and a third on the way at the time.

So where did that leave me?

Living alone through 2025, in and out of therapy: CBT, talking therapy, high-intensity therapy, and finally DIT — Dynamic Interpersonal Therapy.

At the same time, I was also diagnosed with ADHD.

Then, in August 2025, my grandfather decided that, at the age of 83, he was no longer able to care for my uncle, who has severe learning disabilities and was 54 at the time.

I had a four-bedroom house. I was alone. Apart from the stuff my ex didn’t take with her.

So my uncle Paul and his support workers moved in with me.

And here we are, almost a year later.

When I’m not working as a platform engineer for a large FTSE 100 company, I musically direct Shifnal Male Voice Choir.

Music has always had a calling to me from a very young age.

I started playing piano, worked through my grades, and at 13 I helped lead a ladies’ choir in Wellington and joined my first male voice choir: Hadley Orpheus.

I then went on to join several choirs and conduct several more as I got older.

Founding Musical Director of Cosford Military Wives Choir. A Zimbabwean choir in Much Wenlock. Halfway House Ladies Choir. Shrewsbury Male Voice Choir. Chase Choral. Newport Male Voice Choir.

I’m sure I’ve missed lots.

Life is hard. Life is tough.

Some days you wake up and feel like: why do I bother?

And you know what? That happens more often than not.

Yes, music has always called to me. Yes, I love what I do at times. But sometimes I don’t want to be the guy who does it all.

Sometimes I just want to be the guy who turns up and sings.

Outside of music, Paul, work, the dogs, and the ridiculous ideas I have — like starting a blog — life can feel quite boring.

There isn’t some great adventure happening every day.

I’m 32. I have acquaintances. I don’t really go out. I don’t party.

And I feel so alone in a world that is so busy.

Before It’s Neatly Edited

2026-06-06T00:00:00Z

I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to get things right before I say them.

The right words.
The right tone.
The right version of myself for the room I’m in.

But most of life doesn’t arrive neatly edited.

It arrives half-formed, badly timed, overthought, deeply felt, and usually while you’re already late for something.

So this is The Honest Draft.

A place for the thoughts before they’ve been polished into something more acceptable. The things that don’t quite fit on LinkedIn, feel too long for Facebook, and are probably too emotionally specific for a group chat.

There will be music here, because music has shaped most of my life.

There will be technology, because that’s the world I work in.

There will be care, parenting, relationships, humour, grief, frustration, and the strange business of trying to be a decent human being while also remembering to reply to emails.

I don’t know exactly what this becomes.

That’s partly the point.

This is the draft.

The honest one.